My debut fiction work, Life Between Moments: New York Stories, will not be my last book.
It published this week and has topped bestseller charts on Amazon. Positive reviews have been trickling in.
And while I found writing the book very meaningful, the feeling afterwards isn’t as rewarding as you might think.
I disagree that you have to somehow “discover” the meaning of life. To me, it’s something that requires work. It needs to be built, a day at a time.
Yes, I am proud that I completed the book. But the most fulfilling times in this journey were those that gave me the greatest challenge.
When I couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel but sat down to write anyway.
When the words failed to fall out of my pen in any coherence.
The meaning of life is something you have to hack away at, day after tiresome day, even when hope dwindles like a slow-dripping tap.
Life Between Moments, therefore, gives me less fulfillment now that the writing is done. To sustain the sense of meaning in my life, I cannot just sit and watch people read my book, because it was the work itself — rather than the final product — that made me feel most alive.
My definition is certainly different from the image of a wandering and wise hermit in search of meaning via abstinence from worldly delights. While that trope can play a role still, nourishing meaning, to me, must be an active endeavor.
It takes diligence and intention, rather than happenstance. The notion that enlightenment happens to you is misleading.
I found the meaning in my life soon after I began writing everyday and realized I’d feel empty on the days I missed. Putting in a consistent, challenging effort in work I love is the most engaging thing I can imagine.
And to riff on a second cliché: The man who enjoys walking will go further than the man who loves the destination.
The meaning of life is rooted in the act of the walk, rather than the arrival. The work it takes to get somewhere — the responsibility you must adopt to achieve something — is where deeper fulfillment lies.
To be sure, an award or a milestone is encouraging, but that sentiment is as fleeting as a wave on the ocean. The celebration can’t sustain a sense of fulfillment because it is external — and ultimately easier than the work it took to get there.
I am so proud of completing my new book and watching it top the charts on Amazon this week. I’m doing my best to enjoy the moment as it unfolds.
But ultimately, I know I’ll have to put this book in the rearview mirror sooner rather than later if I’m to continue building the sense of meaning in my own life.
Life Between Moments will not be my last book.
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